The Winning Essay from Charles:
According to my high school head football coach, Vic Kubu, life is not a dress rehearsal. Life is a continuing learning experience, and you must recognize your strengths and weaknesses to become a better person in anything you choose, whether it is your positive attributes and skills that help you achieve your goals or deficiencies that need improving. Knowing yourself and what you are capable of can help you recognize and overcome your weaknesses. These strengths and weaknesses have become more apparent as I have become older. I’ve come to understand that our strengths and weaknesses are not just labels; they shape our individuality and guide our personal growth.
My strengths, perseverance, resiliency, and true grit are essential in my personality and how I relate to people. My father was a United States Marine who passed away suddenly while I was in high school from a heart attack. He taught me that you could be five things in life: bad, average, good, excellent, and elite. It was taught to me that you should always strive to be elite. There will be things in life that you do that may come quickly and easily, and there will be situations or tasks that you are confronted with that will be the hardest thing you ever do. My greatest strengths had also become my greatest weakness.
After my father’s passing, I began a career as a police officer with the Wall Township Police Department. I was young and skeptical, not fully understanding the weight of the words of the State Troopers at the New Jersey State Police Academy, who told us that the academy was the easiest part of being a police officer. However, as I gained experience and faced the job’s challenges, I realized the truth in their words.
One year later, on September 11, 2001, I was sent with a group of officers to assist with the rescue efforts at Ground Zero after the attack on the World Center. As I drove up the New Jersey Turnpike to access the Holland Tunnel, I could see the plume of smoke emanating from where the World Trade Center used to be. You could begin to smell the smoke as we drove down the Westside Highway. We entered Ground Zero around Veasey Street. Then, I realized my instructors at the New Jersey State Police Academy were right; the academy was easier.
Over the next several days, I participated in the rescue and recovery efforts, working almost twenty-eight hours straight and then taking a quick nap in an abandoned bookstore before returning to work at Ground Zero. This continued for a few weeks. When all hope was lost inside me and the frustration of not recovering any victims alive, I had to stay resilient, persevere, and dig deep inside of me with true grit and not give up. This experience, though challenging, strengthened my resolve and taught me the true meaning of perseverance.
Over the next fifteen years, I had a front seat to more tragedies and traumas than a person should endure. I have had to tell families that their loved ones are not coming following a car accident where a drunk driver killed their loved one, investigate crimes against children, and respond to violent crimes in progress. I had to preserve, stay strong, and keep going.
As I immersed myself in the insular culture of police work, I found myself struggling with a different kind of battle. What started as socializing with other officers after work turned into a severe addiction to alcohol. I was using it as a coping mechanism, a way to escape the nightmares that plagued my sleep. I had been trained to protect and take care of others, but I was never taught to take care of myself mentally On September 16, 2018, I surrendered to my alcohol addiction. “Surrender” is a word that a police officer should never use. I was sick of waking up and looking in the mirror and hating the person looking back at me. I had fought for my life against a criminal on the side of the highway who had a loaded gun, but little did I know I was in for the worst fight of my life. I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, anxiety, and substance abuse disorder.
After attending outpatient rehabilitation for approximately twenty weeks, I remain sober almost six years later. It took perseverance, resiliency, and true grit, but it also brought hope. Today, I am a Captain at the Wall Township Police Department overseeing the Special Operations Division and have been promoted twice since becoming sober. I have also met my beautiful wife in sobriety. We married in February of 2023 and expect our first baby this spring. Today, I volunteer, share my experience, strength, and hope with other first responders, and advocate for mental health in the public service community. In 2023, I was awarded Police Officer of the Year by the Veterans of Foreign Wars for assisting first responders and veterans with mental health services. I also sit on the Board of Directors of the Samaritan Center of the Jersey Shore, where I volunteer my time. The Samaritan Center ‘s mission is to provide hope and resiliency through professional counseling and educational programming. This scholarship will help me pursue my dream of becoming a lawyer and further my advocacy work in the legal realm.
I had always aspired to attend law school and become a lawyer, something I would have never been able to do while I was in active addiction. My dream came true last week when I was accepted to the part-time JD Program at Widener Delaware Law. I am deeply grateful for this opportunity to apply for this scholarship, as it will allow me to pursue my dreams and play a crucial role in my journey to become a lawyer and advocate for first responders and veterans. Your support through this scholarship is invaluable to me.
I will close with this. Sometimes, we motivate ourselves by determining what we want to become. Sometimes, we motivate ourselves by thinking about who we never want to be again. Being in recovery has given me everything I have of value in my life today: integrity, fearlessness, faith, a relationship with sound, and most of all, gratitude. Sobriety is the best gift I ever gave myself.
Once again, I am deeply grateful for the opportunity to apply for this scholarship, and I appreciate your time and consideration.
